Umm I'm too high to move.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
