I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
More tranny stories later!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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