They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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