First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
