I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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