Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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