yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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