Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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