If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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