Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
