that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
