i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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