i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
