Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My life is pants optional.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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