happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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