I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
