I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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