u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love having hate sex.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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