It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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