Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
