i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
