she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
