What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
