He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize