Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
