i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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