Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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