Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
