About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
