Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
