new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
