i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
