end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
