Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
