i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
