You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize