Don't you send me to vm
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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