The brown eye won't let me do that either.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
