Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Less talking, more tequila
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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