They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
