sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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