Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
