She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
