Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
