SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
