No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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