Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
