They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
