One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
