There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize