..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
