the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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