Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
