so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
