Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize