Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
