i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
