Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
