Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Houston, we have a squirter
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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