So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
